Upside life

Have you ever been wondering what the hack is going on? What is happening with your life? With your relations with others, with your family, your kids?
Since I became a mother of a teenager, my life changed a lot. From time to time it looks like living in a war, on the territory that has been ocuppied. The comunication has been broken, or beter, it only flows in one direction. From me toward... And feedback?
I get it in a very strange way. The teenager comunicates by teasing his younger brothers. He starts with one of his four brothers and then takes a brake, he goes on with another one and takes a brake, then he helps his third brother to fight with the second one and ...takes... a... brake, and....
Killing, if you are there. And of course, you are. Because if you wearen`t there, who would be listening and observing?
Nobody. No audienece, no fun. So?
I am trying to understand him and his behaviour, but he drives me crazy again and again.
I know that my tennage son matches perfectly with his brothers when I am not in the house, when nobody wants anything from him, when he is free as a bird. He even matches good with me, when he needs something....
So, I hope he will need something today. Maybe a dinner?

Prvič!

Vse je enkrat prvič. Tudi tale blog. Dolgo časa se je "kuhal". Danes pa je preprosto prišel dan, ko sem odtipkala še nekaj dodatnih besed in.. Tukaj sem. V prostoru, kjer naj bi povedala tisto, kar mi leži "na duši". Če že ne na duši, pa se vsaj plete nekje v možganskem medmrežju.
Zaklaj danes?
Ne vem.
Astrolog bi morda omenil pravo postavitev zvezd, numerolog nekaj "pokritih" številk, fizik trk določenih delcev...
Zame pa je trenutek, ki sem ga ustvarjala kar nekaj časa.
Začelo se je s knjigo o blogu, ki se je v nekem času znašla v mojih rokah in potem mesec in pol ležala poleg moje postelje. Sposojena v knjižnici, enkrat podaljšana... Končno delno prebrana in vrnjena.
Zaradi nje sem tu.
Tu sem, ker rada pišem. Ker laže povem, kot izgovorim. Ker je prelito na papir možno izbrisati, izrečene beseda pa...
Izrečene besede imajo drugačno življenje. Izrečeno lahko popraviš, a ne izbrišeš.
Ker vem, da sem naglih besed, me je tega včasih strah.
Zato bom pisala.
Zase, zate, za vas...